I had a really great 10th anniversary this weekend with the hubby. I was very spoiled and just had an amazing time. Between anniversary stuff, my sister in law's family visiting for the past two weeks and getting the kids ready to start school on the 1st- I've not touched paint, pencil, charcoal or colored pencil- not even my camera the past three weeks.
I'm feeling flooded by ideas atm and things I really want to do, but I'm seriously lacking in time. I have this worry that by the time I get to sit down and actually work on the ideas that I won't be in the extreme creative type mode I'm feeling right now and it just won't be as good as it could have been.
I have some website related stuff I need to take care of for clients the next two days, and then the kids will start school Wednesday so some time should free up- but I just know I'm going to have to choose between practical things I need to get done that are waiting on me, and the creative things and I just know what is going to lose out. I want to say that I'll give myself an hour or two a day for anything creative but I just know once I start I get irritated and crabby if I can't keep going till I finish- so I'm almost better off skipping it completely. ::sigh:: Who needs sleep?
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Trying to pick back up.
Things have gotten busy lately. We've had loved ones visiting, friend's birthdays and just tons of stuff to do. I caught up on a bunch of housework and haven't really sat down and taken a breath since. I feel like the longer I go surrounded by people and rushing around the crazier my head gets and the more stressed and irritated I feel. I told a friend that I got to hang out with last week, whom I've neglected lately, that with things being so busy when I get a free minute I get completely self absorbed. I don't like being "bothered", "interrupted", "distracted".
I feel like there is some imaginary timer going and when it goes off it's just done- and I don't get to do any of the things that I want to do. Like if I'm late, I just won't get to do it. I don't feel like it's me questioning my morality or anything like that- I think it's just the pressure I put on myself lately to not just have ideas but perform. If I don't get this done right now without any interruption- I might go back to my old patterns of 50 papers scattered in a trail around the house with random ideas and 20 partially done projects. I feel frantic, I feel desperate, I feel like I really need to learn to meditate or something. I need to find a better balance. It may come with time, it may come with projects finished and tangible success I can see- I just hope it comes sooner then later.
I hadn't drawn in a few days with all that we had been doing. I sat down to work on my current colored pencil drawing and all I could think was- what if I can't do it anymore, what if I forgot how- I knew logically it was ridiculous but it was this real panicked feeling that would not go away. Stress. My stress has been high lately with issues between my parents and I being at an all time high and all going on, I'm sure it's just stress... Right? It's probably a good thing I have therapy tomorrow. ::sigh::
I feel like there is some imaginary timer going and when it goes off it's just done- and I don't get to do any of the things that I want to do. Like if I'm late, I just won't get to do it. I don't feel like it's me questioning my morality or anything like that- I think it's just the pressure I put on myself lately to not just have ideas but perform. If I don't get this done right now without any interruption- I might go back to my old patterns of 50 papers scattered in a trail around the house with random ideas and 20 partially done projects. I feel frantic, I feel desperate, I feel like I really need to learn to meditate or something. I need to find a better balance. It may come with time, it may come with projects finished and tangible success I can see- I just hope it comes sooner then later.
I hadn't drawn in a few days with all that we had been doing. I sat down to work on my current colored pencil drawing and all I could think was- what if I can't do it anymore, what if I forgot how- I knew logically it was ridiculous but it was this real panicked feeling that would not go away. Stress. My stress has been high lately with issues between my parents and I being at an all time high and all going on, I'm sure it's just stress... Right? It's probably a good thing I have therapy tomorrow. ::sigh::
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Where did the weekend go?
Best laid plans right? I'm trying to get myself into a schedule,
with hopes that it will tame my spastic jump from one thing to the next
tendency. I want to do at least 1 hour of artistic learning a day and 1
hour of actual drawing- hopefully more but I am a mom of 2, have a
house to keep up and several websites I'm in charge of. I started
writing things down like my hubby pestered me to do so I could "stop
THINKING about things I planned to do and actually DO them". We'll see
how it goes- so far I think I have 6 separate lists and I'm not sure
which I wrote where- there are notes on random pieces of paper
everywhere, I did get a dedicated notebook to write the lists in but...
I'm not sure where I put it.
I'm going to try to to look at the stuff I did get done to help ease some of my frustrations with not doing the things I really really wanted to do.
So I did some fixing
- Adjusted the Roman shades in my bedroom I had made to slide properly- 2 were misbehaving.
-I changed 4 pillows I had made from regular cute pillows to overstuffed cute pillows- an item on my to do list in my head for about 3 months now.
- I started finishing (heh) the roman shade for my hubby's office- that's been on the back burner for sooo long.
- I organized the photos and scrapbooks from our first family vacation which we happily enjoyed and returned from a few days ago
- I worked on my cherries drawing for my first colored pencil drawing for my drawing class- probably about an hour or two
- Cleaned the game room up which has been overtaken by my sewing and art supplies for 2 months now =)
- Ordered more art supplies from amazon
- Hunted down a few good art references/tutorials I want to read/work on
I think that was about it, I didn't slack too badly- a few games of Munchkin snuck in there. I'm having issues figuring out how to prioritize projects, things I want to do, need to do. Do I do the fastest things first to get them off the list? The thing I would feel the most achievement finishing? The thing I want to do most at any given point in time, which rapidly changes of course.. "Oh look, shiny..." yes, that's me.
I really want to start the week off well and do my hour of drawing and hour of learning each day. I need to finish the shade for the hubby's office so it's out of the way. I really want to do the painting for my living room wall that I've had in my head for a while now. BUT BUT BUT I also have a website to do list for a client or two that I need to do first, and I'd really like to finish the scrapbook/photo albums so I can send it off to my sister, nephew who went with us on the trip, and then I wanted to get back into an exercise routine again.
Are there enough hours in the day? Never.
-
I'm going to try to to look at the stuff I did get done to help ease some of my frustrations with not doing the things I really really wanted to do.
So I did some fixing
- Adjusted the Roman shades in my bedroom I had made to slide properly- 2 were misbehaving.
-I changed 4 pillows I had made from regular cute pillows to overstuffed cute pillows- an item on my to do list in my head for about 3 months now.
- I started finishing (heh) the roman shade for my hubby's office- that's been on the back burner for sooo long.
- I organized the photos and scrapbooks from our first family vacation which we happily enjoyed and returned from a few days ago
- I worked on my cherries drawing for my first colored pencil drawing for my drawing class- probably about an hour or two
- Cleaned the game room up which has been overtaken by my sewing and art supplies for 2 months now =)
- Ordered more art supplies from amazon
- Hunted down a few good art references/tutorials I want to read/work on
I think that was about it, I didn't slack too badly- a few games of Munchkin snuck in there. I'm having issues figuring out how to prioritize projects, things I want to do, need to do. Do I do the fastest things first to get them off the list? The thing I would feel the most achievement finishing? The thing I want to do most at any given point in time, which rapidly changes of course.. "Oh look, shiny..." yes, that's me.
I really want to start the week off well and do my hour of drawing and hour of learning each day. I need to finish the shade for the hubby's office so it's out of the way. I really want to do the painting for my living room wall that I've had in my head for a while now. BUT BUT BUT I also have a website to do list for a client or two that I need to do first, and I'd really like to finish the scrapbook/photo albums so I can send it off to my sister, nephew who went with us on the trip, and then I wanted to get back into an exercise routine again.
Are there enough hours in the day? Never.
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